Fever
by jaimiee
Summary: AU. I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you're not around. And the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. BL.
1. hateithere

-

-

She was fiercely independent,

Brooke Davis.

Brilliant and beautiful, and brave. In two years she had grown more then anyone I had ever known.

Brooke Davis was a lot of firsts for me. My first serious girlfriend, the first girl who ever got me drunk and tattooed, and yes, the first girl I ever had sex with. But she was also the first girl I cheated on. The first girl who had put her heart in my inexperienced hands.

She broke up with me senior year of high school, after our second attempt at a relationship. When I look back on it, there must've been something I could've said or done, but when someone tells you they stopped missing you, you're pretty much screwed no matter what you say. I had looked into her sad eyes when she told me she would always love me, and I couldn't believe that she really wanted to break up with me. So for the days after our relationship ended I was sweet, I tried to regain any kind of contact to her, but she was stubborn and refused. I thought it was because she wasn't in love with me anymore, so I retreated.

And then I accused her of being pregnant with Chris Keller's baby.

She looked at me with such hate, a look I'd only seen junior year, when she found out I had cheated on her with Peyton Sawyer. Then, just for half a second, her eyes showed disappointment and sadness. And I knew she was still hurting.

One month later, I had started dating Peyton and had given up on Brooke. I hadn't seen her in a week, and I realized it was because she hadn't been at school. I went to her house directly after school, worry consuming me, and rang her doorbell. And Brooke answered, all body parts in tact, tooth brush in her mouth, and visibly pregnant.

So I passed out on her doorstep.

When I came to I was lying on Brooke's couch, how she got me there is still a mystery to me, and Brooke was sitting across from me looking insanely guilty.

"Hey" Is the first thing she says to me and I can't help but be completely outraged.

"Are you kidding me?" I said, rubbing the bump on my head.

"Look Lucas, just relax. I was gonna tell you." She sounds so innocent and my face softens at the sight of her protruding stomach.

"How long have you been, you know, how far along are you?" I managed to stutter out.

"Almost 4 months."

"And it's mine? It's ours?" I questioned

"Please don't tell Peyton."

Brooke Davis has a heart of gold. She gets pregnant at 18 and is worried about Peyton's happiness.

I start to ask her why, until her face contorts in pain and she presses a hand to her belly.

"Brooke? What's, what's going on? Are you okay?" I asked, full of fear until she smiles and giggles at me.

"I'm fine. It just kicked, that's all. Do you wanna feel it?"

It was amazing. Just knowing that I had created another life, and getting to feel it.

But what the fuck was I going to tell my mom.

-

**"A MAN MUST KNOW HIS OWN DESTINY...IF HE DOES NOT RECOGNIZE IT, THEN HE IS LOST. BY THIS I MEAN, ONCE, TWICE, OR AT THE VERY MOST THREE TIMES FATE WILL REACH OUT AND TAP A MAN ON THE SHOULDER.IF HE HAS IMAGINATION, HE WILL TURN AROUND AND FATE WILL POINT OUT TO HIM WHAT FORK IN THE ROAD HE SHOULD TAKE, IF HE HAS THE GUTS- HE'LL TAKE IT."**

-

"Mom? Can we talk?" I asked, a few nights later.

"Uh oh. What happened?" She said, and I can already tell she knows.

"It's Brooke." I said, tears welling in my eyes. "You were right. She's, she's pregnant. And I need you, now more then ever."

**-**

**So it's gonna get a little confusing after this. Next chapter I'm switching to present tense, and maybe to a different point of view. I dunno, I just really wanted to use Lucas's book as a starting place. So if you have any questions feel free to ask.**

**And R E V I E W. Please.**

**Disclaimer- OTH is mine. Except, ya know, it's not…**


	2. i'myours

"Knock knock, baby

"Knock knock, baby. Lucas?"

"Peyton. We gotta talk."

They sit in Lucas's room, on his bed, side by side. Peyton reaches her hand up and pulls Lucas to face her.

"What's going on boyfriend?" She asks tentatively.

"_It's just good to hear you call me boyfriend again."_

"I got Brooke pregnant."

-

Days like these suck. Days when you can't eat anything without puking, and you feel so giantly fat that you just wanna crawl into a hole and die. Days when you realize that your ex-boyfriend, now your former best friend's boyfriend, is the father of the unborn child now occupying your uterus.

And that you're only 17.

"I told her."

"Lucas! You said you wouldn't tell." Brooke exclaims.

"She had to know Brooke! What was I supposed to do, show up on her door step in 4 months with our kid?"

"No. My kid is not going anywhere near her." She says. "Anyway, what did she say?"

"She freaked out and started babbling about it not being mine and you being a whore." He says quietly and looks up at her.

"Gee Luke, thanks for defending my honor. I mean it's not like I'm carrying your kid or anything!" Brooke yells, slapping Lucas's arm.

It's quiet, Lucas broods, Brooke bites her nails.

"Do you believe her?" Brooke asks a few minutes later.

"Of course I don't."

**:Sometimes i wonder if anything's absolute anymore. Is There Still right and wrong? Good and bad? Truth and lies? Or is everything negotiable,left to interpretation, grey. Sometimes we're forced to bend the truth, transform it, cause we're faced with things that are not of our own making. And sometimes things simply catch up to us.**

"Everything's gonna be okay, right Luke?" Brooke asks as she leans into his warm embrace.

"I want to say yes. Truthfully, though? I haven't got a clue."

"_There comes a time when every life goes off course…"_


	3. lightupthesky

--

--

"It's Lucas, leave a message."

His solemn voice falls through the phone for the seventh time as Brooke clicks the end button. She rolls over in her bed, throwing the phone down next to her, and rubs her stomach lightly.

The first three times she called Lucas she was craving waffles. The next three she wanted pizza bagels. Now she was just worried.

"If I was Lucas, where would I be?" She thinks out loud. Oh! There was supposed to be a party at Nathan and Haley's tonight, something about basketball and babies and college.

She doesn't play basketball. Lucas does.

She's having a baby, nobody's supposed to know that.

College. Do fashion schools accept pregnant cheerleaders?

Deciding that besides school, in baggy, pregnancy hiding t-shirts, she hasn't been anywhere in weeks and she could use a good Naley party.

Brooke gets out of bed, throwing on a large red sweatshirt over her white wife beater , a jean mini skirt that miraculously still fits her, and a pair of flip flops, she heads out the door and left two blocks to Nathan's house.

_  
I can't find a wall to pin this to,  
Their all coming down since I've found you.  
I just wanna be where you are tonight.  
I run in the dark looking for some light,  
And how will we know if we just don't try,  
We won't ever know._

She finger-combs her hair quickly as she sneaks in the doorway with a group of guys, carrying a keg. She's not exactly ready to see anyone yet, considering she doesn't look as un-pregnant as she usually does.

Then she spots him.

Lucas Scott, leaning casually against a doorframe talking to Theresa, Kenzie, and another slutty cheerleader.

Brooke's outraged. She's mad, she's angry, she's pissed, she's livid, she's furious and she can't think of any more synonyms. She walks casually over to him and leans against the door frame beside him.

"What, you gonna knock them up too?" She slips, staring him straight in the eyes.

"Excuse me," He says to the sluts, turning to Brooke. "What?!"

"Don't play dumb with me Luke, what is your phone broken too? Can't be bothered to call back your ex?" She shouts, a few guests turning to look at her.

"C'mon Brooke, let's, uh, go over there." Bevin interjects. She goes to grab Brooke's arm but gets slapped away.

More people are watching now including Peyton who steps forward, looking pointedly at Brooke.

"Are you drunk, Brooke?" Peyton asks condescendingly. "You're making a fool of yourself."

"Am I drunk. Oh trust me Peyton I'd be drunk if I could be. And no, I'm not making of fool of myself, Lucas here has got that taken care of. This isn't your business anyway Peyton just go away!" She yells, looking back at Lucas.

"Brooke, stop it." Lucas says.

"Oh, so he speaks!"

"What is your problem anyway? I didn't do anything." He says, running a hand through his hair.

"You didn't do anything. Okay. Honestly Lucas, you're an asshole. I hate you, I hate you so much because you did **this** to me." She yells pointing to her stomach. "And you told me you'd be there for me and you didn't pick up the phone and I'm making an idiot of myself and I am scared to death while you're here flirting with skinny cheerleaders!"

Brooke already crying by the time she's finished and it hits Lucas hard, he can't even look her in the face.

"I'm not going to feel guilty for this." He says sternly, and turns to leave the room.

Brooke wipes her eyes quickly and searches the room for Haley, who she finds a few feet away looking insanely sympathetic and confused.

"I'm so sorry." She mouths, before running for the front door.

Welcome to teenage motherhood Brooke. You're not doing too good.

_And it's still so hard to be who you are,  
So you play this part,  
The show goes on.  
You've come this far with a broken heart,  
Yeah you've come this far,  
And you've broken._

When she gets back home Lucas is sitting on her porch and she wants to slap him.

So she does.

"I guess I deserved that." He says, bring his hand to his inflamed cheek.

"You guess? You guess you deserved it."

"Do you hate me?"

"Listen to me Lucas. Carefully. I. Hate. You. I hate you so much, and it kills me that seeing you with other girls makes me jealous. It kills me that I can't stop thinking about what **you** want our baby to be named. And it kills me that a part of you, is a part of me."

_We already know how it ends tonight,  
You run in the dark through a firefight.  
And I would explode just to save your life,  
Yeah I would explode_.


	4. youdon'tneedme

--Thanks TeamSophia for pointing it out, for anyone who read before I fixed it, I screwed up the timing, Brooke is only about 5 months pregnant. Enjoy!

--

Things that spread. Fire, disease, love, wealth. And bad news.

This was definitely bad news.

She hadn't even thought about what her mom would say. It's not a thing you bring up on the courtesy call from whatever exotic "business" location they've gone to.

Every knock on the door scares her, and she worries that her parents will literally kill her. It wouldn't be such a bad option, but she could never leave her child alone with **him**

After she told them this morning they flipped out on her, calling her irresponsible and, basically, a slut.

They begged her to get an abortion. She told them it was too late for that, and she would never consider it even if it wasn't.

They asked her to consider adoption and she laughed at how hypocritical they are.

She told them politely that it was her responsibility and she'd take care of it.

They told her to keep the house, and cut her off.

And then there's Lucas.

He got back with Peyton. She took him back, forgave him for getting her best friend pregnant. The part that kills Brooke is that he apologized, groveled basically, begging for Peyton's forgiveness. Like it was a huge mistake, having sex with his, at the time, girlfriend.

**This is the place where I sit **

**This is the part where I love you too much **

**This is as hard as it gets**

**'Cause I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough **

**I'm here if you want me **

**I'm yours you can hold me **

**I'm empty and taking and tumbling and breaking**

She can hear the squeak of the doorknob turning downstairs, and his slow, heavy steps as he walks tentatively to her in her bedroom.

His hands are cold as they snake around her waist and his head is heavy as he leans it into the crook of her neck. He presses his lips gently to her neck, breathing her in and his fingers trace gentle circles on her larger stomach.

"You shouldn't be here." Brooke says.

On one hand she hates him, and it amazes her that he would just show up and start rubbing all over her, but on the other, as he kisses her pulse point and palms the top of her stomach right under her breast, she hasn't had sex in, like, five and a half months.

She spins around slowly in his arms, turning to face him. "Luke," Is all she can say before his lips meet hers in a kiss Brooke's secretly been waiting months for.

His tongue runs across her bottom lip, begging for entrance, which she grants, and his hands stay firmly positioned. One on her lower back, pulling her close, and the other on her stomach, feeling their child kick.

**'Cause you don't see me **

**And you don't need me **

**And you don't love me **

**The way I wish you would **

** The way I know you could**

The drift over to Brooke's bed, lying down together. He holds her hand and she snuggles into his warmth, and she starts to cry. Because she doesn't know what's going to happen, and it terrifies her. Salty tears pour quietly down her face and onto his shoulder.

"You promised me Luke." She says quietly. "You said we'd always be in love. That as long as you had me, you didn't need anything else. That you wanted a baby with me, a life with me. You said you'd fight for me."

"I did." He says and his voice cracks. "I tried. I'm just so scared Brooke. I can't do this and I'm trying to be there for you and everything is getting so fucked up. This is wrong, it's so wrong and it's all my fault."

"I'll never be good enough for you."

**This is the place in my heart **

**This is the place where I'm falling apart **

**Isn't this just where we met? **

**And is this the last chance that I'll ever get? **

**I wish I was lonely **

**Instead of just only **

** Crystal and see through and not enough to you**

"Does everyone know now? Cause of what I did at the party?" She asks.

"Yeah. A few people came to me today. Including Haley, who can't understand why you didn't tell her."

"I didn't tell because I freaked out. I thought that maybe if no one knew, it didn't have to be real."

"I think it's real enough already."

**I dream a world where you understand **

**That I dream a million sleepless nights **

**But I dream a fire when you're touching my hand **

**But it twists into smoke when I turn on the lights **

**I'm speechless and faded **

** It's too complicated**

**Is this how the book ends? **

** We'll never be friends**

**-**

**-**

**- Review.**


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